10 ways women unknowingly create Soulless success

1. Always pouring out and never being poured into.

No matter how good your intentions are, when you are depleted, you are likely to become your worst self if you always give and never take care of yourself. You also are teaching people how to treat you, if you are always the giver and they always the takers.

2. Giving up on your authentic desires.

That changes you. Langston Hughes asked, “What happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up. like a raisin in the sun?” A raisin in the sun is shriveled up, dry and unattractive. When you give up on your desires, you lose your hope and your joie de vivre. You can become resentful and bitter. Sadly many women do this to please others, especially men in their lives, and without knowing it, they set themselves up to fail, because eventually he may leave you for a woman who honors her desires and comes across as passionate and exciting as a result.

3. Not having boundaries.

Allowing yourself to be continually hurt or brutalized by not acknowledging your feelings and setting boundaries because you want to nice. You’ll end up in wounded feminine. A doormat who feels disempowered and devalued. You can be kind and nice and still say no and set boundaries about what you will and will not allow in your life. Boundaries create respect and empowerment.

4. Lack of self awareness.

When you don’t learn to look inwards and do your own work, you become prone to looking outwards and judging other people. When you are willing to go within and face your stuff, that is the beginning of reclaiming your true self and healing. 

5. Conditional self worth:

When you see life as “I achieve therefore I am.” If you judge yourself by what you have achieved or not, when life shifts, and you have down seasons, you can be left feeling worthless. This can lead to toxic behavior patterns that create a lowered quality of life. .

6. Spiritual bankruptcy.

Spirituality is about wholeness, truth, connection & vulnerability. Studies have shown that despite whatever faith you practice, people with a spiritual practice and healthier and live happier lives. 

7. Toiling and spinning.

Work not toil. Toiling is grinding: Being driven by fear or soulless ambition (back to I achieve therefore I am). Spinning is grinding without strategy. It will run you ragged and change your essence. You’ll end up in wounded masculine. Get clear on what you need to do and what you need to NOT do, get strategic!

8. Living without peace:

Refuse to live in conflict or drama, even when it’s not of your own making. Let it go or let them go. 

9. No pleasure.

Too many women stop allowing themselves to enjoy life or be pleasured. Pleasure is not something to be rationed. When you refuse to enjoy your life, you tend to hate it when others enjoy their lives. You don’t want to become one of those bitter old aunties who begrudge people their joy because they spent all their lives living by obligation instead of allowing some pleasure in.

10. Hard hearted.

Often because you drive yourself hard, you drive everyone around you hard & destroy relationships. 

The good news is no one is too far gone to change.

You can start to heal today. 

I lived in the wounded feminine and even some masculine for a long time but as I started to do my work, I healed and now...I’m deeply grateful I had the courage and willingness to do the work. 

Whether you are already deep or you see the warning signs that you are on the path to toxicity, start doing your work now. 

Even you think you would never be that woman...one way to ensure this is by doing your work. 

Sign up for the complete womanhood course (iconicwomanhood.com/new) online course today and ground yourself in the healthy balanced feminine and masculine energy and truly live your best life!